It’s Getting Old

The other day I randomly came across the music video for Blondie’s “Heart of Glass.”

The very first thing I noticed – other than how great that song is – was how stunningly beautiful Debbie Harry was.

I had to look her up and see what she’s doing now, so I Googled her. A slew of pictures came up in the search. And the second thing I noticed was how Debbie looks now . . . which is, well, older.

I’ll be totally honest and tell you the disturbing thought that flashed across my mind. It was this: The only thing sadder than not having the Universe bless you with that kind of beauty is being blessed with it – then having it taken away.

I immediately wondered what kind of horrible, shallow human being I was for thinking that, but then I also wondered: Where did that thought come from?

It came from my social conditioning. I’ve been conditioned to think this way. We all have.

We’ve been brainwashed by society to believe two things: 1) that a woman should spend most of her life in the pursuit of beauty and 2) once she loses her beauty, she loses her worth.

That is why I had an immediate pang of sadness that Debbie Harry no longer looks like her 20-year-old self.

But . . . why should she?

We’re so hell-bent on forcing a youthful standard of beauty on women that we miss the real beauty that aging brings. We’re so terrified of looking old that we don’t appreciate the inner transformation that happens over the years.

If our outsides are a physical manifestation of our insides, then we should look better and better every year. I may have had smooth, unlined skin and shiny hair when I was 20, but I wouldn’t go back that girl if you paid me to. I was immature, insecure, worried about what everyone thought of me, always changing who I was to fit in, and constantly silencing my voice.

Now that I’m 50, I’ve given my inner voice a bullhorn. All of my life experiences to this point have helped me become my authentic self, and with each year that’s passed I’ve incrementally transformed from a girl into a woman – a strong, confident woman who lives her own life and not the one others expect of her. And the strength that now consumes me inwardly is so brilliantly beautiful that it can’t help but radiate outward.

But even though I know this, society still gives me the message in every way imaginable that the older I get, the less value I have.

I can’t change the way society sees me, but I can change the way I decide to see myself. And so can you.

Do what makes you happy. Take better care of yourself. Laugh more often. Stop constantly checking in the mirror for signs of aging – which no one will notice as long as you’re laughing.

Live. Really live. Be fully, intensely alive.

Find something you’re truly passionate about that you can throw yourself into. Let that passion consume you and light a fire within you that shines through your whole body. Stop wasting your whole life trying to weigh less – probably the least passion-filled endeavor imaginable.

In one of the articles I read about Debbie Harry, she said that she finally threw all the mirrors out of her house because she was so tired of scrutinizing herself and feeling like she was coming up short. She was tired of constantly obsessing about what she looks like.

She also said it made her sad that, despite her musical talents and being a trailblazer for so many of today’s female artists, the only thing she seems to be remembered for is the way she looked. She feels sad that her legacy is her beauty – beauty that society tells her has faded.

I agree with Debbie and I disagree with society. Her beauty is still there. It’s not there by society’s standards, but it’s still there – we’ve just been trained to not see it.

Let’s change that.

Camille Martin

I wasted 20 years of my life trying to lose weight. Now I spend my time running, juicing and "cooking" raw food, and laughing with my baby girls. I thoroughly enjoy growing Love To Lose, so I can teach you all I've learned along the way. I'm beyond excited to help you start your own journey, and I can't wait to meet you one day!
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12 Comments

  1. Ly on June 1, 2020 at 8:00 am

    “Live. Really live.Be fully, intensely alive”. Certainly a more worthy endeavor then trying to erase the hands of time on this body. Xoxo. Love this article.

    • Camille Martin on June 1, 2020 at 1:18 pm

      I’m so glad you liked it! Love you! xo

  2. Myrna Smith on June 1, 2020 at 8:03 am

    Some of my favorite people have aged and are full of wisdom. Some have passed away and I still think about the advice that they gave me.

    • Camille Martin on June 1, 2020 at 1:15 pm

      You are one of those people for me! xoxo

  3. Jenny Brinkley on June 1, 2020 at 9:34 am

    It is my mother and older girlfriends whom have shaped me the most. Mentoring, inspiring, leading by example, and supporting me. The smile lines on their faces, the thickness of their waists, and the spots on their hands speak to a life lived with smiles, nice wine, and days at the beach. Still though, I find myself thinking exactly as you did. I find myself forgetting about the privilege and value aging brings us and the value we continue to hold despite the years and the evidence of them. Always so thought provoking, Camille! Thank you!

    • Camille Martin on June 1, 2020 at 1:15 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment, Jenny! You are so right…all of the signs of aging we see are because of fully lived lives. And I desperately need some nice wine and a day at the beach! xoxoxo

  4. Charlotte on June 1, 2020 at 12:01 pm

    Just when I think you write your best!! Then you do it again! Life is ever changing, and if we are smart, we change along ! I embrace me, and age has nothing to do with it! Aging lines are for a reason! Never will I be that young woman,again but the way I see it, now I am smarter, , my life has been full and now it is fuller because I became a Grandmother. But I will continue to moisturize, get facials, exercise. Because I care about ME! You are such an inspiration to us all young and old!!
    Hugs and kisses

    • Camille Martin on June 1, 2020 at 1:12 pm

      Thank you so much, Charlotte! You are beautiful, inside and out. I love you!

  5. Katherine Clarke Buckner on June 1, 2020 at 12:16 pm

    I have a couple of friends who are so terrified of “looking older”, that they look odd, having had so many procedures done. Don’t get me wrong, if a little lift here or there helps boost your already healthy image, fo for it, but I believe in embracing the aging process.

    • Camille Martin on June 1, 2020 at 1:12 pm

      It’s so hard to resist all the negative messages we get, and I empathize with anyone who feels compelled to make alterations, even when they are extreme. And you look amazing, by the way! 🙂

  6. Celeste Orr on June 1, 2020 at 7:04 pm

    I love this one so much, Camille, and I totally agree! I’ll be 40 in just a couple of years, and I’m so happy about it! I wouldn’t go back to 20-year-old me for anything!!

    • Camille Martin on June 2, 2020 at 7:05 am

      Thank you, Celeste! 🙂

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